Year: 1986
Chart Position: #5
Last year's Worst Songs position: unranked
Sometimes I feel guilty -- if it wasn't for polls like this, some terrible songs would just die a silent death. Instead, every Worst Song list resurrects these tortured tunes like some mad scientist raising the undead. Did you think you were God? Did you?
"Heartbeat" is a song that seems to have been recorded specifically to make Worst Songs list. It's got an actor-turn-singer (Don Johnson); a cheesy guitar hero widdling all over the song (Dweezil Zappa); production values that could only belong to 1986 (like track lighting and day-glo) and super-important lyrics that Johnson huffs out like he's auditioning for the female lead on All My Children:
I don't care what you say
You can give it away
Your money don't mean much to me
I've been out on my own
Gonna go it alone now
You go, Don! Look for that heartbeat!
Fun Fact: Johnson should have been a one-hit wonder, but alas -- he had another hit in 1988 with then-girlfriend Barbra Streisand called "'Till I Love You."
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